On one occasion, a group of women gathered one afternoon over coffee, showed off some of their professional accomplishments. One spoke of expertise that was taking another of the post in a major company, one of his own businesses and so were all talking about their promotions and accomplishments. In the group had a very quiet lady who asked him to what he did, she replied in a tone of shame that are dedicated to household, was a homemaker.

A psychologist who was present immediately came to his defense and said, “What would this world if they had extinguished these courageous mothers?” and reminded the company of which she was president, manager and operator, could never match.

Profession of mother

It is the construction of the foundation of society. Any woman can be replaced at any job title, less at home.

A cure mother of child scratching at the knees or a driver of them in the evenings or go to the supermarket, so that everyone has something to eat, is at that time held the position of “General Services Manager.”

When we explain difficult division with decimals or teaching their children manners and respect he holds the position of “Human Resources Manager.”

When you hear of all the qualities of their children, is a “Marketing Manager,” because nobody believes in their product both as a mother of his children.

Your time is unlimited, his work shift can start at dawn with the crying baby’s hungry, and you can follow the rest of the day taking care of everything in the house running smoothly. In the afternoon are the driver and the teacher of their children.

At night, the loving wife who listens and cares for her husband and she can follow up waiting for your teen arrives at the party. When you have a moment of rest, do not stop thinking about their duties.

You cannot delegate his work because so much love to give it is almost impossible to find qualified personnel to match. She cannot entrust to the secretary the transmission of values, morals, principles, or send by fax the kiss goodnight.

His salary is unattainable; in fact, she does not conceive the idea of receiving anything in return because it does it for love. Some Mother’s Day gets a flower, a drawing with crayons or bright star on the forehead of her son, with this feeling that they have given the best promotion.

You will not receive pension, rather than 14 or 18 years of work will be apparently unattainable dismissed without benefits when you say: “Please Mom, do not get? This is my life.” It is apparently dismissed because only the presence of a mother is important, although at the time they do not realize.

Monument or diploma, where is the monument or diploma to those entrepreneurs who do not tire of their profession?

The doctor, businessman, artist, priest, engineer, lawyer, doctors, lawyers, architects, etc., who gave their lives to other companies have come out of these so-called “families.” These professionals are great achievements, honors, trophies and diplomas.

The adoption is not shameful or bad

In both cases, children should learn of their adoption from the mouths of their adoptive parents. This helps the message of making positive and allows the child to trust their parents. If the child learns about the adoption, intentionally or accidentally, from the mouth of another person other than a parent, the child may feel anger and mistrust of their parents, adoption can be viewed as bad or shameful because it kept secret.

Adopted children want to talk about their adoption and parents should encourage this process. In bookstores there are excellent picture books that can help parents to explain to the child about their adoption.

Reaction of the adopted child the truth before

Children react differently to learn that they are adopted. Their emotions and reactions depend on their age and maturity level. The child may refuse to accept that was adopted and may create fantasies about adoption. Frequently, adopted children cling to the belief that they were given bad or may believe they were kidnapped. If parents talk frankly about the adoption and present it in a positive way, they are less likely to develop these concerns.

All teenagers go through a stage of struggle for identity, asking themselves how they fit with their family, their friends and the rest of the world. It is reasonable that the teenager has taken a keen interest in their natural parents during this time. This curiosity is common and expressed not mean that he or she is rejecting the adoptive parents. Some teens may want to know the identity of their natural parents. Adoptive parents may respond to the teenager letting you know is right and natural to have that desire. Teenagers who ask generally should be given, in a caring and giving support through conversation, information on natural family.

Emotional problems

The adopted child can develop emotional and behavioral problems. These problems may result, or otherwise, uncertainties and related matters have been adopted. If parents have concerns, they should seek professional help. A child and teenager psychiatrist can help the child and adoptive parents to determine if you need help or not.

In today’s society in many ways dominates the hedonistic philosophy of seeking satisfaction and pleasure, with great fear and rejection of all aspects that could involve negative emotions such as sadness, anxiety, suffering and pain. Drugs have become an important in this field. Drugs can become an escape to all problems.

The family and teenager

The teenager at this stage subject to change, both physically and psychologically. It’s no longer a child, but neither is an adult, which leads to a feeling of instability and imbalance. The teen’s parents also suffer from this instability, the role they had in front of his son, and the child must also be adapted to the child-adult, resulting in new forms of communication and relationship. The family plays an important role in the evolutionary development of the child, in its formation and development of his personality, and must be present and attentive to the difficulties that can arise and can lead to alterations of this development. Among these difficulties is the subject of drugs.

The role of parents

The role of parents should be changing as children grow older. The handler function will decrease with advancing age of the child, and gradually the rules should be explained, relying on open communication. It shall promote independence and individuation of children, with rights and responsibilities.

With age, children begin to see parents as ordinary human beings with flaws and virtues, therefore become more critical of our actions. Parents must strive to be models for our children. Family values are a significant transfer to the young. Should think about consumerism, pleasure for pleasure, competition, avoidance of suffering, time and type of leisure attitudes and situations related to drugs and unreal world that promise satisfaction.

Fostering dialogue is very important for the formation of the child. It will help us to transmit values, to know how he thinks the teenager, being in touch with their concerns.

The parents’ attitude towards drugs will be important for the child. What they think and what do the parents and siblings and adults will be worth modeling. It is known that in addition to genetic factors, daily observation of alcohol abuse by parents is a risk factor for the future of children.
Talk to the children of drug

Parents fear the possible drug use by teenagers, but most dare not talk about it at home with your child. The general fear is that parents have little information about drugs and everyone around them. Do not create a special space to talk only about drugs. Nor is it useful to create a moralizing monologue, in which parents spend only repeat that drugs are bad. Call for space with an open dialogue in both directions, taking into account their views, and taking advantage of situations that arise and to take into account the issue: an article in the newspaper, a TV commentary on film, etc.

Only when parents have clear and simple concepts, and share with our children in truth, we can come closer to them, both when there are no problems, as when they can begin to contact them.

It is proven that it is not impossible, but it’s hard to be an excellent professional and at the same time, give your baby what is necessary for full development, it is also important not to forget to take a little time for you.

In this way, your baby will have a happy mother although not full time, and most importantly, with you when you see a mother who gives him all her love.

For you to do a combination of motherhood and work, the best way; see the following aspects:

Do not feel guilty
While maternity leave allows you to spend more time with your newborn baby when it is finished, you can think your baby will suffer because of your absence and feel guilty.

Do not distress! There is evidence that children of working mothers are as happy as those of housewives. According to research, children of working mothers are well stimulated and emotional development is stable.

The findings of this study reject theories that claimed that infants cared for by nannies or in day care suffer any delay, compared with those who are full-time servants by their mothers.

According to the analysis done with 14 000 children and their parents in the United Kingdom, the two types working mothers (inside or outside the home) encourage their kids with the same frequency as the non-working, evolving so well in different stages of their life.

Working mothers should not worry and think that affects the emotional development of their babies.

A difficult decision
However, despite the results of the study, some women have mixed feelings when they have to return to work. For others, leaving his career even for a short time is a great frustration that harms them and their family.

In any case, if you choose to stay with your baby, do it for you and for the satisfaction it will give you, because otherwise you might later blame him for your lag or breakup with working life. If, however, stop working after childbirth is not an option because a single wage cannot keep your home, you return to work without feeling guilty.

Remember that while your child is in the care of persons responsible (even better if someone from your family), and offers you all the love while you’re with him, grow healthy and happy as any baby who spend all day with his mom.

And when is the time?
What to do, when back to work? Beyond the legal considerations are your baby’s needs and which those that determine when to return to work are.

If in your case money is not the primary factor to work, consider the time you are ready mentally, physically and emotionally for it. Analyze your financial situation now that you have your baby, so choose according to where and who you want to watch, if you cannot leave by a relative.

At this point you have several options: a nanny, a nanny or a nurse come to your home, or if you prefer to take it to a nursery. The important thing in any of these cases is that your little one is in the care of people in your whole trust and treats him well. On the other hand, after you leave it in good hands, catch up with your work and find out about the latest developments in the workplace.

With regard to your work schedule, it is essential that you clarify with your superiors and your commitment to the work and responsibilities while at home.

So it is good to insist on the need to leave the company on time every day, but equally, as long as you know there as productive as possible. To be, not worry too much thinking about your baby, so that this does not affect your performance.

Also working in your home is a good choice. If this is your case, consider the time it takes for your baby and demanding professional work. This is an excellent chance if you organize well the schedule, especially if someone helps a few hours with your baby while you work, this way you will be near him all the time.

The abuse of these substances can lead to behaviors that alter the stability, performance in the study, concentration, movement, aggression, thoughts, moods, anxiety, reasoning, consciousness, will, stability and usually other issues that develop as the environment and the current status of the individual.

These are some cases which will help us as parents to assess a risk in our children:

School performance: skipping classes, or develop bad behavior.

Interest in activities: lost interest in usual hobbies, favorite sports or activities.

Routines: eating too much or failing to eat, sleep too much or failing to sleep.

The selection of friends, changing friends, or hanging out with people who know who use drugs.

Alteration of his personality: bad mood, nervousness, aggression or persistent rebellion, locking their rooms, drawers or boxes.

Objects that expose

In addition there are certain objects you can find at home, or in possession of their children that may indicate they are using drugs.

For example:

Rolling papers, pipes and clamps used to use marijuana.

Small medicine bottles, mirrors or glass cubes are used to using cocaine, empty cans or containers of glue, or empty cans of hair spray which may be remnants of inhalant use.

It is worth mentioning that not only illicit drugs are psychoactive, so are inadequate intake legal drugs like painkillers and tranquilizers.

It is important to include in discussions with the children these issues, explaining the consequences of drug use and what can be found outside the home. Discuss topics of interest to them, find out and let them know about the substances that can be addictive. Invite them to activities such as sport, art, music and more. Remember also to build self-esteem, assess their skills and correct them when necessary.

The autism child is not normally associated with objects. You can respond to an extreme and unusual to any object, either by avoiding it altogether or becoming obsessed with him/her. For example if someone moves her/his bed on one side of the room to another, the autism child may be screaming hysterically. If an object moves, such as a fan, loves the child and may also have you a great attachment to foreign objects such as paper, an elastic rubber bands or a brick.

Another feature of autism is the tendency to carry out activities of limited scope repeatedly. The autism child can turn like a top; perform rhythmic body movements such as flapping their arms. The highest functional level autism may repeat television commercials or carry out elaborate rituals at bedtime.

Parents who suspect their child may be autism, should consult their family doctor or pediatrician for a referral to a child and adolescent psychiatrist, who can diagnose autism for sure, their level of severity and determine the appropriate educational measures . Autism is a disease and autism children may have a serious failure for life. However, with treatment and proper training, some autism children can develop certain aspects of independence in their lives. Parents should encourage their children with autism to develop those skills that use their strengths so that they feel good about themselves.

The children and adolescent psychiatrist and treat the child, the family can help you resolve the stress, for example, can help siblings, who feel ignored by the care required for an autism child, or who feel embarrassed if they bring their friends to the house. The child and adolescent psychiatrist can help parents to resolve the emotional problems that arise as a result of living with an autism child and guide them so they can create a favorable environment for development and education of the child.

It is as if we had said something like, ’so I had a bad time with my strict parents, I missed so much as a child, I had a very complicated and distant father, and I do not want my children to go through the same thing. So I, as Mom and Dad, I will give everything I can because I want them to be happy. “

Thus was born a different generation of parents. This also supported by certain psychological currents posed the wrong way that parents should be friends with their children. This phrase so internalized in our society says and I want to make it clear from now, to parents should be warm and even be ‘cool’ with their children, what happens is you have to privilege the role of educator. I am a mom and my role is to educate my children, and that is often a stressful paste in which I have to set limits, make decisions for them that often they do not like to say that not many times a day and maintaining an educational consistency transferred my words, which is covered by the facts.

Much of the problems facing our children today, as poor motivation for the studies, low frustration tolerance, impatience, and this ‘can’ board, with a feeling of immense solitude, is because we are parents forget to be authoritative. We are the rulers of the house, like it or not, we choose what we eat or not eat, at least most of the time, we decide whether or not our children will see their grandparents, because if no, they are not going to do on its own will and, therefore, will grow without history or experience rating.

Loss of control

I get to see how parents have lost control over their children, and increasingly often say sentences like ‘I do not know what to do with my daughter,’ and when asked the age, I learn that two and a half years I do not know what they intend to do when the child is 15 years. It is also common to hear parents tell teachers: Tell her hair cut because I was not going to ignore. Or they say: How do force myself to do this or that if it wants?

The reason for this mode is due to a number of factors, including the most important are: the general tendency to avoid any conflict. So as not to see his long face our son we are able to do what he wants. We avoid conflicts throughout the day as us because we have many problems outside our homes to get inside of them and, therefore, transacted in the one thing that we should not do: the education of our children.

Another factor is of course a short time we spent with our children. I say supposedly because, in reality, if a father has an hour to watch the news, is actually a time to be with their children, what happens is that preferred to watch the news.

The issue of parenting, our children’s friends has many sides, some are sociological, such as those in some way explained before, but it also has to do with how sensitive we are the adults of today to the rejection of our children. We do not want to see their long faces, telling us that we are outdated, other than the parents of his classmates, who are ‘not cool’. In fact, parents want to be cool, appear as evolved and this makes us extremely ambiguous in the way we educate, we find it difficult to say no. We leave in forty explanations, we are the kings of the ‘it depends’, which put our children in a web of insecurities that prevent them from knowing what is right and wrong and everything seems possible.

The consequences of being parents, friends are many: the children have no respect different from his friends to educate, develop a bad tolerance to frustration because the parents do not tell them no, and if they do, easily changed with some manipulations.

The children become manipulative because they know they can do whatever they want; it’s all in how you ask. Finally, teens are lonely and insecure at first because it’s fun to have parents like that, but over time they begin to feel they need someone to guide them because if not, die of anxiety.

Children, in their healthy development, they need boundaries, discipline and conduct set by parents, mixed with affection: it is the formula for a good education. Tenderness and discipline seems to be the key. Moreover, it was important to be clear that the more clear is a father or mother, as to educate, more expressive and free to

In general, according to my experience in Chile, I come often to these dads friends who do not know how to get out of the mess that they put a little product of their short-term vision of ‘total and will grow’, ‘are children’ ‘I put a lot of color’, etc., and when they want to set limits when they are larger, too late.

There is another percentage of parents who, although I hate to say, it is ‘not there’ to educate their children, those who hire radio taxi weekend by ‘can’ of having to go looking. There are also those who are trying to be friends with their children and tell all that good. Why did not they will buy if they all have cell?
Parents who give permission for all children who smoke, who take them to ‘learn’, which will finance the piercing and strange clothes who ask. Parents who allow their children for fear of rejection, receiving friends at their parts, understanding that they need to ‘privacy’ and are not able to say that that’s what the living and not the beds.

These parents, friends do not place limits, but neither are a lot of love, not embrace it will be rejected, do not say ‘I love you’ for fear of ridicule and, therefore, are not consistent in the way of educating.

Of course there are those who are doing well, which set limits, that challenge when it comes to challenge, to meet the punishment and so good, that provide affection, touching, kissing, while adolescents reject them, and they understand that’s a pose that does not mean that do not need. Parents are falling to pieces of their children even when the door is closed, they say ‘I love you’, but equally clearly they are able to say no, even if it means having the ‘child’ or ‘girl’ with long face several days. Perhaps it is because they understand that education is a planting day, where the harvest is not immediately, and that, therefore, have to worry every day.

The responsibility as adult children is to ensure the welfare of parents. Although one should not be taken as a way to reward all you have done for theirs, it is a compromise that leaves the peace of duty done; having given all the love for so many years was received from them. So when old age arrives, is when you must be a better son, is the true moment of serving, if your support and your greatest source of affection.

A new stage

There are two shocks that will be faced: the first is to accept that parents are not the same as before, now probably are sick, they begin to have small oversights, complain of some physical ailments and can become somewhat stubborn, which will require increasingly, the care of the family, and not they who serve the children, but children to them. So there will be a change of role, will now be their parents.

“Children are used to being children, we do not know how you do not end up to be clear if we have to make decisions for them or not and, at the same time, parents often make decisions that concern us as to insist on living alone, while often the child worries that something happens that they put their lives at risk, “says Elia Toppelberg, a psychologist specializing in aging.

This change of mentality, that is, the assimilation of aging parents can be a difficult reality to accept for some people, becoming manifest through anger, impatience, claims parents with strong phrases such as “mom cannot remember already told you … “” you cannot go out alone, do not understand? “…

The other point and challenge to follow, is that the situation requires reconciling life spouse, children, work, home, with new requests from parents.

In many cases, this demand for time on the part of parents may cause problems in the child’s own family. So it will be necessary to meet with the spouse and also with the children, and depending on your age, explain the situation of grandparents. There will be told that now they need, as much as make a baby, leaving it very clear that will not abandon them and that his father’s role will remain the same as always. It is also important to ask for your support, since this situation is painful and exhausting. Similarly, the balance must be sought without neglecting any of the two families.

Ways to prepare and / or cope

* The age of the parents requires a joint effort of the whole family. The children must unite and make an adjustment in the role each member assess their availability for this purpose, thus ensuring that everyone takes an active part, the responsibility should not fall into one.
* If necessary, you can also review the economic possibilities to seek extra help (nurses, auxiliaries, etc…) Useful support, but in no way will supplement the responsibilities of children.
* Some studies indicate that emotional care for elderly parents that carry potentially adverse impact of one form or another. Therefore, it is recommended to generate spaces for recreation, where the child can de-stress isolated for a few minutes of this scenario.
* If there are signs that merit, may be important to consult with a professional who specializes in these cases, as a psychologist, psychiatrist, geriatrician, who will support and guidance for decision making, and emotional support will help to clarify the doubts so difficult and delicate situation.

It is common to see parents tested all sorts’ games, tricks, gifts, to make children eat and eat well, and despite all their efforts no effect strategy emerged. In addition, adults are destabilized a bit to see the little kids eat very well one day but the other does not want to eat. In addition to the above, it sometimes seems to go too long without food and this reinforces the anxiety.

However, there must be very careful in how we face this situation, as the concern of the family can lead to inappropriate feeding attitudes and disciplinary action that may aggravate the rejection by the food.

What happens in children two to five years?

Usually, the children will suffer normal “physiological reluctantly” characteristic of the age, which ignore the parents and so tormented with the sight of their small will not eat anything.

Actually, very few cases where it is a real disease that causes loss of appetite, as well as which is accompanied by other symptoms, is a permanent behavior, not sporadic as often happens in children two to five years.

Most children who refuse to eat have an appetite fit for his age and growth rate. During these ages, the normal standard is that children grow between 1 and 2 kilos per year, unlike when they were in their first year. As a result, they now need less nutritional requirements and feel less hungry.

At these ages, children are more interested in the world that surrounds them for food. They are discovering new things, their only activity is play and adventure, therefore, food takes away valuable time favorite activity. Likewise, they are still not aware that the human body needs food for its healthy development, and therefore do not give the importance it requires. Adults will be responsible for inculcating those habits in language appropriate to their level of understanding.

Therefore, forced to eat a certain food can cause serious consequences, leaving a precedent in the food and making this experience to become negative and unpleasant. Moreover, excessive pressure can also lead to rejection of food.

Tips for Parents

For the children, their main role model is the family. The example of his parents and siblings is crucial for them to acquire good eating habits. If small they see their parents have a bad attitude towards food, or refuse any food, they will imitate their behavior. So the first thing to do is observe and correct any errors.

Establish schedules that allow children to have a routine and organize their mealtimes. It is important that among the three main meals have small nutritious snacks like fruit or milk. Do not give those sweets or junk food, much less before meals.

The key is for parents to show patience, discipline and determination. Making meals in times of struggles, struggles and prayers, all that rejection is a major cause for the child to food. Call the lunch is a little friendly, cheerful and pleasant.

It is recommended not to let children watch TV or play while eating, then faded to finish their primary objective. Adequately measure the quantities of food, not be served because of only abundantly see, feel and finish filling refute it.

Turn food into punishment, pleading, bribes and rewards, is a mistake that should not make by the parents. Children will denial by these incorrect feeding techniques.

Everything goes through the eyes, different colors and shapes are very encouraging. Put your imagination to make recipes tasty and appealing to the eye. In addition, the smell, the variety of food, company and atmosphere created around food are also factors.
It is very good tactic, invite children to participate in the preparation of meals, they will have fun and want to eat what resulted from his work.
Finally, be very much commend and congratulate the child when feeding, they need that recognition when his behavior is appropriate.

Believe it or not, in the earliest ages, children also perceive what happens around them and gradually they develop sensitivity to distinguish between a tight or harmonious family environment. When children are witnesses continuous fights between her parents, they can express their disagreement in several ways:

In the youngest children may have tantrums or regressions (like going back to wearing diapers, asking again pacifier, etc.), in order to attract attention.

In school it is usual that an aggressive and rebellious behavior in school, such as fighting with peers, disregard of the rules, and school failure, but at home his behavior is the opposite, are apathetic.

In adolescents, the reactions are different, as is typical of this age it is usual to be indifferent and prefer to escape, taking refuge in activities that would exhaust: chat, outings with friends, alcohol, music, among others.

Faced with such reactions, parents “often lead children to a psychologist, like small problems, and finally one realizes that the dysfunctions are family, and sometimes not even in it, but the particular couple, “explains Tania Donoso academic Niemeyer Psychology at the University of Chile.

So in all ages, recurring bouts of parents are detrimental to the emotional development of children, while in some cases can cause hard to remove fingerprints.

Advice to husbands

You might even today have never thought about this and had fallen even aware that their children were there in the midst of conflict with your spouse. The child and adolescent psychologist Andrea Palacios, recommends that parents’ awareness of the importance of taking charge of the differences and develop strategies to have these disagreements without generating disturbances in the development of children, a factor that must prevail in importance: no seeks to avoid conflict, but to seek the most appropriate time to address it.

It is therefore necessary to implement the suggestions listed below:

* Have the discussions beyond the reach of children, to avoid any kind of doubt and pain. The marital problems should be discussed in private, without being heard. Therefore it is recommended to wait they are asleep or go elsewhere.
* Do not cause the child to take sides with some of them.
* Do not turn your children into your source of support. If you need somebody, you should find an adult who really understood what happens.
* If the child asks, should explain the discussion that is natural. But there are certain ways of doing it.
* Be attentive to the attitudes (such as slamming doors, faces of anger), perceived as the small details.
* When a couple has a lot of dissatisfaction, it should seek ways to solve problems early. Search supportive care, because a life of emotional separation or marital discord is very painful and not quality of life for adults, and of course, less for children.

A pair can cost them difficult at first, but sure you’ll achieve with effort, anything goes for our children!