Coping With Aging Parents
There comes a time in life, when the children become parents of their parents, for their old age or illness. Taking this step is not always easy, since it is used to see them full of vitality, energy and independence. How to prepare for this situation or how to deal with if it is present, is addressed in this note.
The responsibility as adult children is to ensure the welfare of parents. Although one should not be taken as a way to reward all you have done for theirs, it is a compromise that leaves the peace of duty done; having given all the love for so many years was received from them. So when old age arrives, is when you must be a better son, is the true moment of serving, if your support and your greatest source of affection.
A new stage
There are two shocks that will be faced: the first is to accept that parents are not the same as before, now probably are sick, they begin to have small oversights, complain of some physical ailments and can become somewhat stubborn, which will require increasingly, the care of the family, and not they who serve the children, but children to them. So there will be a change of role, will now be their parents.
“Children are used to being children, we do not know how you do not end up to be clear if we have to make decisions for them or not and, at the same time, parents often make decisions that concern us as to insist on living alone, while often the child worries that something happens that they put their lives at risk, “says Elia Toppelberg, a psychologist specializing in aging.
This change of mentality, that is, the assimilation of aging parents can be a difficult reality to accept for some people, becoming manifest through anger, impatience, claims parents with strong phrases such as “mom cannot remember already told you … “” you cannot go out alone, do not understand? “…
The other point and challenge to follow, is that the situation requires reconciling life spouse, children, work, home, with new requests from parents.
In many cases, this demand for time on the part of parents may cause problems in the child’s own family. So it will be necessary to meet with the spouse and also with the children, and depending on your age, explain the situation of grandparents. There will be told that now they need, as much as make a baby, leaving it very clear that will not abandon them and that his father’s role will remain the same as always. It is also important to ask for your support, since this situation is painful and exhausting. Similarly, the balance must be sought without neglecting any of the two families.
Ways to prepare and / or cope
* The age of the parents requires a joint effort of the whole family. The children must unite and make an adjustment in the role each member assess their availability for this purpose, thus ensuring that everyone takes an active part, the responsibility should not fall into one.
* If necessary, you can also review the economic possibilities to seek extra help (nurses, auxiliaries, etc…) Useful support, but in no way will supplement the responsibilities of children.
* Some studies indicate that emotional care for elderly parents that carry potentially adverse impact of one form or another. Therefore, it is recommended to generate spaces for recreation, where the child can de-stress isolated for a few minutes of this scenario.
* If there are signs that merit, may be important to consult with a professional who specializes in these cases, as a psychologist, psychiatrist, geriatrician, who will support and guidance for decision making, and emotional support will help to clarify the doubts so difficult and delicate situation.
