Responsibility, Discipline and Order
Parents cannot always be behind of the child or adolescent to make enforcement. What is to be achieved through appropriate educational strategies is that these standards are so prevalent, that our children come to behave in a responsible manner even when no one is telling them what they have to do or stop doing.
Parents, teachers and educators we must establish the bonds of affection, consideration and respect which is essential for both the parenting and the teaching. To the extent that the respect and affection toward the child are a palpable reality, capture and accept disciplinary rules at home and at school.
Setting limits
To ensure that a child access to responsible behavior is essential to establish clear boundaries but give reasonable security while offering you some freedom of choice.
It has been shown experimentally that the child realizes that parents behave firmly because they care, because they really want. The child knows very well that he does not know or care for himself and needs the security of knowing that someone in charge of your life and your care. So you can learn and experiment with the difficulties that arise from a secure base. It is essential that the child, and since the early years, know exactly what is expected of him. This will give you security, but it is clear that such rules and limits must meet certain requirements:
1. Make it plain and simple.
2. Fair.
3. That the child is very clear what will be the consequences if not met.
4. That we apply the standards consistently and fundamentally fair.
Good conduct
Any child learns to behave, especially their parents, siblings and other relatives, and their teachers, classmates, neighbors, etc… That is, behavior, good or bad, is learned, and not acquired naturally. In fact, the word discipline means learning and is the most appropriate for parents to get their children to learn to behave properly.
Let’s see how it should be good discipline.
- There is no point prolonging the child’s anxiety after committing a foul, the discipline should be immediate.
- The child will feel guilty when you have broken a rule, when you have done something wrong and needs to learn that a faulty or dangerous behavior has its consequences at least that are derived from the punishment. Error and discipline must be united so that the child does not spend too much time overwhelmed by the consequences of their behavior.
- In addition to immediate good discipline has to be logical. Consistency is critical in facilitating educational security and not embarrasses the child constantly as is the case of those parents that occasionally approve a specific child’s behavior or are indifferent, and in other cases, severely reprimanded the same behavior. This lack of consistency teaches children to distrust their parents and the regulations issued.
- Another feature of good discipline is its strength and security, that is, inevitably after a particular fault or error, surely there will be corresponding punishment or act of reflection and an invitation to correct the wrongdoing. Children, who know from experience that the constant threat of their parents end up not satisfied, do not learn to be disciplined.
- Should be implemented at any time, situation or place.
- Some parents feel as ashamed if they have to correct a bad thing for their children and simply say, “home talk.” I do not criticize this approach, which almost always helpful, but it seems more appropriate to call the child to a corner of the room or bring you out into the hallway while we apologize to our friends and guests and will make corrections and counterclaims necessary … in situ, without it later. Thus, after the fault will reflect immediately.
- It has to be fair. If accidentally stains splattered shirt because some food to claim click on a piece of meat, considered a reprimand excessive unfair, hurtful comment like “you’re a dirty,” “not ever get to be clean.” On the contrary, if the school has failed or has deliberately stuck to his younger brother, his own sense of justice will make you acknowledge that deserves a good scolding.
- Must be positive, i.e., offering alternatives, solutions, support, so to strengthen the understanding, dialogue and emotional ties between parents and children. In no case is good to humiliate the child, make him feel like a negligible or is unable to do anything right, because the insulting and derogatory words become adult prophecy come to pass, to minimize their self-esteem and sense of worth and competence.
- The intensity should be regulated and adapted to the evolutionary development of the child, his personality and sensitivity. An introverted child, highly sensitive and unsure of itself will not sustain a serious reprimand without suffering a significant psychological harm. However, another child, confident, open and strong personality usefully receives deserved a good scolding, without damage.
- Finally, all good discipline is to achieve its purpose is to teach good behavior.
Be consistent
We educate our children for freedom, but true freedom is only achieved when one is responsible for his actions, “takes care” of himself and is able to live with independence and autonomy. The order and consistency in behavior, only acquired after long training exercise and responsible and disciplined behavior. Allow the children to do his will and whim unmarked limits or establishing rules that give them security, makes them irresponsible or immature beings, unable to find themselves and find a place in society, lacking the necessary order procedure.
14 June 2010, 1:35 am
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