The Limits on Teenagers Education
Most parents today have 40 or more we were brought up with strict limits and these were often applied in a violent manner. Also we had walked in childhood and adolescence in less ping-pong of democratic governments and dictatorships, perhaps longer, finally met authoritarianism and rigor to achieve, presumably, order and social peace. Maybe because of these experiences, many choose not to be authoritarian and put few limits.
The picture is completed with a hectic lifestyle and little time available to share with our children and the result is that we have reached a state of complacency with children and teenagers. Lots of parents today feel they can not with their children, who no longer know what to do for the child to the greatest respect and comply with their obligations
Why and what limits
First we must be clear why they are necessary and what limits we put them. The limits are a measure of protection and a way to introduce kids to patterns of social life. A baby can not assert himself and parents prepare cots and high chairs where they are comfortable and can not fall or get hurt. When they walk allow moving around the house but do not let them walk alone in the neighborhood or street to avoid being hit by a car, we teach them how care should take several years and hope they can cross the street alone. As they grow they acquire greater autonomy and parents more confidence in themselves and their ability to care.
Maybe in other areas of growth in children are all too clear that we must take action when you are ready to take a walk with friends without an adult? When can you go out at night and how often? How long is healthy that is on the computer? Why does poorly in school, I have to take any action? Is it okay for my child to participate in political or religious groups? Do I have to respect their right to choose how to dress and comb your hair?
We put limits for defining a space in which the child or teenager can function without compromising its integrity or that of others. We let fall a few times before learning to ride a bike but no car to give it a ten. Also bear in mind that in the construction of his personality and links as important as friendship or couple will have to suffer some blows as part of its growth.
Autonomy
Autonomy is a long process, takes place in stages, such as when she’s old for a night out with friends is because we believe that can take care of him that night in a particular place that is able to return home at the end of the program. It is likely that these new possibilities and want to blind him out very often still lacked a regulation that allows enough rest and process emotions and feelings that the new activity will wake up. For that we are parents, to help you learn to regulate letting him out sometimes and not others and putting attention when we see that it’s going to spin.
Setting limits requires determination and belief in what we do, you do not get angry or yell. What is needed is a great deal of patience and self-esteem because children’s tantrums and aggressive reactions of teenagers are very intense. Setting limits is an act of protection, not a power game.
